Nino Memorial VI

Saturday, May 28, 2005
Wright City, MO

"Only The Best Wear Tartan"

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Sixth Annual Nino Memorial

From L-R (Dusty, Nino, Lugar, Iken, Noodles, B-Lyss, Denmark)Saturday, May 28, 2005 at Innsbrook Resort Golf Course Wright City, Missouri.

There is much to detail about the Nino Memorial Part VI, and little of it has to do with the actual golf tournament. However, since this is a public site, all I can say about Friday evening is, why the hell did Lugar and his pungent self need to be walking around in that wife beater? Was that the reason Jonboy, Chelist and Dutch left the proceedings in order to go night fishing? "That may have something to do with it," said an embarrassed Jonboy. "But we also wanted to get in touch with the cosmic balance of the universe." Sure, one could dwell on and on about the ghastly image of Lugar upstairs or of Lugar downstairs or of Lugar close-talking everyone and causing them to vomit, but the kid could play some cards!

The tournament was a very well played and well-balanced competition. So much so that there was much scuttling and quarreling before the match was ever to be played. Nino, having once been a three-time champion himself, could not allow himself to be in last place again, so he dumped Dutch as his partner and called upon the services of Denmark. This proved to be both beneficial and harmful to Nino. While he did finish 2nd in the tournament, Dutch did run over his foot with his SUV.

Another controversy arose when Toolman and Dusty, the two-time champs, wanted to mix up the foursomes. Eventually they got their wish, but by creating some bad voodoo before the match was even to begin, that same bad energy may have come back to bite them hard in the groin. In fact, much to the delight of Denmark (how long did he store up that wicked tirade?) as witnessed on the 18th hole, it most certainly did.

Jonboy and Chelist began the tournament looking to upset the champs by hanging around long enough for their two opponents to choke on their own passive-aggressive mind games. Down two strokes, the two found their stride by pulling a par out of their asses while Toolman and Dusty double bogied. Eventually, they increased their lead by three strokes, and it was over. "Next year, we'll actually get some sleep," said a despondent Toolman after the tournament.

2005 Champions: Bubba and Jonboy

Jonboy and Chelist's victory was not the only story of the day. Nino and Denmark, though thought long out of it and without a chance, finished the day in second place ahead of Toolman and Dusty, again, much to the delight of Denmark (I mean, was that tirade even necessary?). B-Lyss and Noodles came in third staying the course despite having to play with Iken's cockiness and Lugar's degeneracy. And Gus and Dutch rounded out the round with a score so high, that NORML decided to fight for their rights to exist. It wasn't all that bad for Dutch, who won the NMVI fishing tournament for the second straight time.

A great day of golf! The only sad thing was the god-awful lunch that we had to pay ten extra dollars for and the missing money that was supposed to go to the champs; at least that's what Dusty said the night before. When reached for comment, Dusty could only say, "I have a rehearsal dinner to go to."

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1st Place (76)
Jon Hoffman
Scott Chelist
Winner of Nino Memorial VI, VII (2005-2006)
Winner of Nino Memorial VI, VII (2005-2006)
Height: 5'8
Weight: 190lbs
Finishing move:
Leg Scissors
Height: 6'3
Weight: ????
Finishing move:
The Worm

2nd Place (79)
Jaeson Becker
Aaron Vickar
Winner of Nino Memorials I, II, III, VIII (2000-2002, 2007)
Winner of Nino Memorial VIII (2007)
Height: 5'10.5
Weight: 150lbs
Finishing move:
The people's elbow
Height: 6'3
Weight: 190lbs
Finishing move:
Stone Cold Stunner

3rd Place (81)
Brett Bunsick
Brian Lyss
Height: 5'6
Weight: 150lbs
Finishing move: Stomach Claw
Height: 5'11
Weight: 180LBS
Finishing move:
Sleeper

4th Place (83)
Dave Hoffman
Tim Boyer
Winner of Nino Memorials IV, V, VIII (2003-2004, 2007)
Winner of Nino Memorials IV, V, VIII (2003-2004, 2007)
Height: 6'
Weight: 160lbs
Finishing move:
The Diamond Cutter
Height: 5'9
Weight: 190lbs
Finishing move:
The Jackhammer

5th Place (92)
Scott Masin
Corey Iken
Height: 5'3
Weight: 180lbs
Finishing move:
The Torture Rack
Height: 5'7
Weight: 140lbs
Finishing move:
RKO

6th Place (99)
Dan Galkin
Craig Richason
Height: 5'10
Weight: 199lbs
Finishing move: Van Terminator
Height: 5'11
Weight: 185lbs
Finishing move:
The Tombstone


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Nino Memorial VI Preview

 

The Nino Memorial has been a tradition in this league since 2000. This year's Nino Memorial will be held at Innsbrook Resort Golf Course on Saturday, May 28, 2005 in Wright City, Missouri.  The Nino Memorial is opened to members of Nino's Fantasy Golf League as well as those that are interested in joining the league the following year.  For some background information on prior Nino Memorials, please click on this.

Stay tuned for more information about NMVI.

 

 


Appearances By:

Tee-Time 1

Jaeson Becker

&

Aaron Vickar

vs.

Craig Richason

&

Dan Galkin

Tee-Time 2

Scott Masin

&

Corey Iken

vs.

Brett Bunsick

&

Brian Lyss

Tee-Time 3

Dave Hoffman

&

Tim Boyer

vs.

Jon Hoffman

&

Scott Chelist


Below is the tentative itinerary for NMVI.
2005 Champions
(Scott Chelist & Jon Hoffman)
 
Friday, May 27, 2005
18.00x: Rendezvous at Vickar's House
18.15x: Cars Leave for Innsbrook

19.30x: BBQ dinner at Dr. Bob's

20.30x: Mandatory Gutz Game
23.00x: Champagne room
  03.15x: Duct Tape Toolman to his bed
03.20x: Ben Gay Preparations for Dusty's Jock
03.40x: Lights Out
04:00x: Hot Water Trick to Denmark
 
Saturday, May 28, 2005
06.00x: Fishing Tournament
09.00x: Optional Breakfast at Dr. Bob's
10.00x: The Nino Memorial.
15.00x: Awards Ceremony
15.30x: Final Banquet Brunch in the Clubhouse
16.30x: Cars Leave
22.00x: Esquire for "The Longest Yard"
2005 Champions
(Scott Chelist & Jon Hoffman)

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The Nino Memorial
Founded on May 29, 2000

"Only The Best Wear Tartan"