May 28, 2005 at
Resort Golf Course Wright
much to detail about the Nino Memorial Part VI, and little
of it has to do with the actual golf tournament. However,
since this is a public site, all I can say about Friday
evening is, why the hell did Lugar and his pungent self
need to be walking around in that wife beater? Was that
the reason Jonboy, Chelist and Dutch left the proceedings
in order to go night fishing? "That may have something
to do with it," said an embarrassed Jonboy. "But
we also wanted to get in touch with the cosmic balance
of the universe." Sure, one could dwell on and on
about the ghastly image of Lugar upstairs or of Lugar
downstairs or of Lugar close-talking everyone and causing
them to vomit, but the kid could play some cards!
was a very well played and well-balanced competition.
So much so that there was much scuttling and quarreling
before the match was ever to be played. Nino, having once
been a three-time champion himself, could not allow himself
to be in last place again, so he dumped Dutch as his partner
and called upon the services of Denmark. This proved to
be both beneficial and harmful to Nino. While he did finish
2nd in the tournament, Dutch did run over his foot with
arose when Toolman and Dusty, the two-time champs, wanted
to mix up the foursomes. Eventually they got their wish,
but by creating some bad voodoo before the match was even
to begin, that same bad energy may have come back to bite
them hard in the groin. In fact, much to the delight of
Denmark (how long did he store up that wicked tirade?)
as witnessed on the 18th hole, it most certainly did.
Jonboy and Chelist
began the tournament looking to upset the champs by hanging
around long enough for their two opponents to choke on
their own passive-aggressive mind games. Down two strokes,
the two found their stride by pulling a par out of their
asses while Toolman and Dusty double bogied. Eventually,
they increased their lead by three strokes, and it was
over. "Next year, we'll actually get some sleep,"
said a despondent Toolman after the tournament.
Jonboy and Chelist's
victory was not the only story of the day. Nino and Denmark,
though thought long out of it and without a chance, finished
the day in second place ahead of Toolman and Dusty, again,
much to the delight of Denmark (I mean, was that tirade
even necessary?). B-Lyss and Noodles came in third staying
the course despite having to play with Iken's cockiness
and Lugar's degeneracy. And Gus and Dutch rounded out
the round with a score so high, that NORML decided to
fight for their rights to exist. It wasn't all that bad
for Dutch, who won the NMVI fishing tournament for the
second straight time.
A great day of
golf! The only sad thing was the god-awful lunch that
we had to pay ten extra dollars for and the missing money
that was supposed to go to the champs; at least that's
what Dusty said the night before. When reached for comment,
Dusty could only say, "I have a rehearsal dinner
to go to."