Sunday, May 27, 2001 at Forest
Park Golf Course St. Louis, Missouri.
The most exciting 6 ½ hours in sports - that is what
is now known as the Nino Memorial. The teams. The teams
were comprised of several individuals with varying golf
abilities. Starting at the bottom, there was Luger (a.k.a.
Scott Masin) and David Duval (a.k.a. Opey a.k.a. Daniel
Wiggins); then there was Brad Gross and Joe Glynias (a.k.a.
Glass Joe); followed by Jeff Small (a.k.a. Smailz) and
Adam Schweizer (a.k.a. Jeff's future brother-in-law);
Bart Berry and Scott Chelist (a.k.a. Bubba); Jaeson Becker
(a.k.a. Nino) and Michael Traub; and finally Josh Polsky
(a.k.a. Twan) and Dave Hoffman (a.k.a. Dusty). The golfing
began this fateful Sunday at 8:45 a.m.
Two weeks prior, Nino
had predicted that if Bart Berry and Scott Chelist made
an appearance, the coveted trophies were theirs for the
taking. Fortunately for Nino and his partner, the prediction
proved to have no validity. At the turn, Nino and the
Berry Duo were neck and neck, only a few strokes over
par. Whoever was to be victorious needed to remain strong
throughout the course of the final few holes. Coming down
to the 18th, however, Nino and Throb proved the better
tandem. Choking on their approach shot, Bubba and Berry
were "done" in the words of a one Matthew Litwack. Bubba's
lucky Nike sandals were futile. In the end, the defending
champs, Nino and Traub, raised the spoils once again.
When asked of the ease with which his team recaptured
the magic of the Nino Memorial 2000, all Nino replied
was, "forget about it." Spoken like a true two-time (two-time)
defending champion, he was deserving of the much sought-after
breakdown of the final scores is as follows:
Joe - 81
a perfect day, one thing did cast a dark cloud on the
festivities - the absence of a contest between Team Fredbird
(Twan/Dusty) and the Chicago Duo of Crandall/Vizzonne.
Although the two trash-talkers from Chicago claimed they
would play the match despite being 5 hours from the true
Memorial, they failed to back their challenge up. If anyone
truly came in last place, it was Crandall and Vizzonne,
rather than Luger and Opey. At least Luger and Opey, though
degenerates and lackluster golfers, had the decency and
class to compete honorably. The same cannot be said for
awards ceremony concluded the day with the red and plaid
jackets handed to Traub and Nino respectively, along with
their trophies. Smailz also awarded conciliation prizes
to those that remained, specifically various bottles of
liquor. A big thanks goes out to Dr. Smailz for his recognition.
The only team absent from this ceremony was the Gross/Glass
Joe team. Typical of the sore losers they are, they quickly
left the Forest Park Golf Course upon learning of their
Overall, Nino Memorial 2001 was a complete success, despite
the two aforementioned sour notes. As the teams exited
Forest Park, one question remained - will there be a three-peat?
Only the City of Las Vegas holds the answer to that question,
the site of Nino Memorial 2002.